解:$(1)$∵点$P $在$x$轴上
∴$m - 1 = 0,$解得$m = 1$
$ $则$2m + 4 = 2×1 + 4 = 6,$∴点$P $的坐标为$(6,$$0)$
$ (2)$∵点$P $的纵坐标比横坐标大$3,$∴$m - 1-(2m + 4)=3$
$ $即$m - 1 - 2m - 4 = 3,$解得$m=-8$
$ $则$2m + 4 = 2×(-8)+4=-12,$$m - 1=-9$
∴点$P $的坐标为$(-12,$$-9)$
$ (3)$∵点$P $在过点$A(2,$$-4)$且与$y$轴平行的直线上
∴$2m + 4 = 2,$解得$m=-1$
$ $则$m - 1=-1 - 1=-2,$∴点$P $的坐标为$(2,$$-2)$