解:$(1) $等式可以变形为$\mathrm {m^2}-6m+9+n^2+10n+25=0,$
即$(m - 3)^2+(n + 5)^2=0,$
∵$(m - 3)^2≥0,$$(n + 5)^2≥0,$
∴$m - 3 = 0,$$n + 5 = 0,$即$m = 3,$$n = - 5。$
$(2) $等式变形为$(a^2+4ab+4b^2)-(c^2-8bc+16b^2)=0,$
即$(a + 2b)^2-(c - 4b)^2=0,$
∴$a + 2b = c - 4b$或$a + 2b = 4b - c。$
当$a + 2b = c - 4b$时,$c- a = 6b,$
∵$a,$$b,$$c $是三边的长,$c- a< b,$故舍去;
当$a + 2b = 4b - c,$则$a + c = 2b,$
∵$a,$$b,$$c $是三边的长,$a+c>b,$符合
∴$\frac b{a + c}=\frac 12。$