C
I’ve noticed that conversations with my children have started to turn into something that I don’t like. It could be my fault. I don’t always think before I open my mouth.
For example, my kids would call me to tell me about something that’s been worrying them. Then, as soon as they’ve finished, I go into mum mode (模式). I can’t help it. It’s my default setting (默认设置).
“You should...” “You need to consider...” “Have you thought of...” “If I were you, I’d...”
“Mum!” The tone (语气) is full of frustration (沮丧) and anger. The meaning is obvious (明显的) — “Stop!”
I am the queen of unwanted advice. When I get one of my adult kids on the phone, I become an expert (专家) on everything and anything, which I’m obviously not.
I want to be part of their lives. More importantly, I want to prevent them from making mistakes that seem so obvious to me. But they just want a listening ear and an open heart.
I’m hardly alone in this. Over lunch the other day, a friend told me that her son rarely listened to anything she said. “It’s like talking to a wall,” she added.
I know that feeling all too well. But I’m learning — very slowly — that talking at is not the same as talking with.
Giving advice to children can be full of problems. Though we may see ourselves sharing the wisdom of our years, they see something else. They see a controlling parent who hasn’t accepted the fact that they’re adults with their own thoughts and feelings.
They’re not looking for any tips or advice. They may not even want an immediate (立刻的) solution (解决办法) to a difficult problem. What they’re hoping for is a safe place to talk with a person who loves and supports them no matter what.
Because of this, I’ve given myself the goal (目标) of becoming a better parent by being a better listener. It’s not an easy task for parents like me who think they’re just being helpful. But I’m determined (坚定的), and I’m strong.
(
A. Giving advice. B. Listening to kids.
C. Sharing love. D. Showing feelings.
(
A. It makes her happy.
B. Her kids love the mode.
C. It’s hard for her to stop it.
D. It’s the best way of communication.
(
A. Because the advice cannot solve the problem.
B. Because children can’t learn to be independent(独立的).
C. Because parents love to show off their wisdom.
D. Because parents and kids want different things.
(
A. Be more helpful. B. Lend a listening ear.
C. Be patient when talking. D. Stop giving any advice.
I’ve noticed that conversations with my children have started to turn into something that I don’t like. It could be my fault. I don’t always think before I open my mouth.
For example, my kids would call me to tell me about something that’s been worrying them. Then, as soon as they’ve finished, I go into mum mode (模式). I can’t help it. It’s my default setting (默认设置).
“You should...” “You need to consider...” “Have you thought of...” “If I were you, I’d...”
“Mum!” The tone (语气) is full of frustration (沮丧) and anger. The meaning is obvious (明显的) — “Stop!”
I am the queen of unwanted advice. When I get one of my adult kids on the phone, I become an expert (专家) on everything and anything, which I’m obviously not.
I want to be part of their lives. More importantly, I want to prevent them from making mistakes that seem so obvious to me. But they just want a listening ear and an open heart.
I’m hardly alone in this. Over lunch the other day, a friend told me that her son rarely listened to anything she said. “It’s like talking to a wall,” she added.
I know that feeling all too well. But I’m learning — very slowly — that talking at is not the same as talking with.
Giving advice to children can be full of problems. Though we may see ourselves sharing the wisdom of our years, they see something else. They see a controlling parent who hasn’t accepted the fact that they’re adults with their own thoughts and feelings.
They’re not looking for any tips or advice. They may not even want an immediate (立刻的) solution (解决办法) to a difficult problem. What they’re hoping for is a safe place to talk with a person who loves and supports them no matter what.
Because of this, I’ve given myself the goal (目标) of becoming a better parent by being a better listener. It’s not an easy task for parents like me who think they’re just being helpful. But I’m determined (坚定的), and I’m strong.
(
A
) 7. What’s the writer’s “mum mode”?A. Giving advice. B. Listening to kids.
C. Sharing love. D. Showing feelings.
(
C
) 8. What can we know about the writer’s “mum mode”?A. It makes her happy.
B. Her kids love the mode.
C. It’s hard for her to stop it.
D. It’s the best way of communication.
(
D
) 9. Why can giving advice to children cause problems?A. Because the advice cannot solve the problem.
B. Because children can’t learn to be independent(独立的).
C. Because parents love to show off their wisdom.
D. Because parents and kids want different things.
(
B
)10. What has the writer finally decided to do?A. Be more helpful. B. Lend a listening ear.
C. Be patient when talking. D. Stop giving any advice.
答案：7. A 8. C 9. D 10. B
解析：
翻译:
C
我注意到，我和孩子们的谈话开始变成我不喜欢的样子了。这可能是我的错。我开口说话前并不总是会思考。
例如，我的孩子们会打电话给我，告诉我一些一直困扰他们的事情。然后，他们刚说完，我就进入了妈妈模式。我忍不住这样做。这是我的默认设置。
“你应该……”“你需要考虑……”“你有没有想过……”“如果我是你，我会……”
“妈妈！”语气中充满了沮丧和愤怒。意思很明显——“别说了！”
我是不受欢迎的建议女王。当我和我的一个成年孩子通电话时，我就成了万事通，而显然我并不是。
我想参与他们的生活。更重要的是，我想阻止他们犯下在我看来很明显的错误。但他们只想要一个倾听的耳朵和一颗包容的心。
并非只有我这样。前几天吃午饭的时候，一个朋友告诉我，她的儿子很少听她的话。“这就像对着一堵墙说话，”她补充道。
我太了解那种感觉了。但我正在学习——非常缓慢地学习——单向灌输和双向交流是不一样的。
给孩子们提建议可能会带来很多问题。虽然我们可能认为自己在分享多年的智慧，但他们看到的是另一回事。他们看到的是一个控制欲强的家长，这个家长还没有接受他们已经是有自己想法和感受的成年人这一事实。
他们不是在寻求任何提示或建议。他们甚至可能不想要一个困难问题的即时解决方案。他们所希望的是一个安全的地方，能和一个无论发生什么都爱他们、支持他们的人交谈。
正因为如此，我给自己设定了一个目标，通过成为一个更好的倾听者来成为一个更好的家长。对于像我这样认为自己只是在帮忙的家长来说，这不是一项容易的任务。但我很坚定，而且我很坚强。
7. 作者的“妈妈模式”是什么？
A. 给出建议。
B. 倾听孩子。
C. 分享爱。
D. 表达感受。
8. 关于作者的“妈妈模式”，我们能知道什么？
A. 它让她很开心。
B. 她的孩子们喜欢这种模式。
C. 她很难停止这种模式。
D. 这是最好的交流方式。
9. 为什么给孩子们提建议会产生问题？
A. 因为这些建议解决不了问题。
B. 因为孩子们学不会独立。
C. 因为父母喜欢炫耀自己的智慧。
D. 因为父母和孩子想要的东西不一样。
10. 作者最后决定做什么？
A. 更乐于助人。
B. 倾听（孩子的心声）。
C. 交谈时要有耐心。
D. 不再提任何建议。
C
我注意到，我和孩子们的谈话开始变成我不喜欢的样子了。这可能是我的错。我开口说话前并不总是会思考。
例如，我的孩子们会打电话给我，告诉我一些一直困扰他们的事情。然后，他们刚说完，我就进入了妈妈模式。我忍不住这样做。这是我的默认设置。
“你应该……”“你需要考虑……”“你有没有想过……”“如果我是你，我会……”
“妈妈！”语气中充满了沮丧和愤怒。意思很明显——“别说了！”
我是不受欢迎的建议女王。当我和我的一个成年孩子通电话时，我就成了万事通，而显然我并不是。
我想参与他们的生活。更重要的是，我想阻止他们犯下在我看来很明显的错误。但他们只想要一个倾听的耳朵和一颗包容的心。
并非只有我这样。前几天吃午饭的时候，一个朋友告诉我，她的儿子很少听她的话。“这就像对着一堵墙说话，”她补充道。
我太了解那种感觉了。但我正在学习——非常缓慢地学习——单向灌输和双向交流是不一样的。
给孩子们提建议可能会带来很多问题。虽然我们可能认为自己在分享多年的智慧，但他们看到的是另一回事。他们看到的是一个控制欲强的家长，这个家长还没有接受他们已经是有自己想法和感受的成年人这一事实。
他们不是在寻求任何提示或建议。他们甚至可能不想要一个困难问题的即时解决方案。他们所希望的是一个安全的地方，能和一个无论发生什么都爱他们、支持他们的人交谈。
正因为如此，我给自己设定了一个目标，通过成为一个更好的倾听者来成为一个更好的家长。对于像我这样认为自己只是在帮忙的家长来说，这不是一项容易的任务。但我很坚定，而且我很坚强。
7. 作者的“妈妈模式”是什么？
A. 给出建议。
B. 倾听孩子。
C. 分享爱。
D. 表达感受。
8. 关于作者的“妈妈模式”，我们能知道什么？
A. 它让她很开心。
B. 她的孩子们喜欢这种模式。
C. 她很难停止这种模式。
D. 这是最好的交流方式。
9. 为什么给孩子们提建议会产生问题？
A. 因为这些建议解决不了问题。
B. 因为孩子们学不会独立。
C. 因为父母喜欢炫耀自己的智慧。
D. 因为父母和孩子想要的东西不一样。
10. 作者最后决定做什么？
A. 更乐于助人。
B. 倾听（孩子的心声）。
C. 交谈时要有耐心。
D. 不再提任何建议。