解:$(1)$∵$A(a - 4,$$4),$$B(a + 1,$$4),$$OA = OB$
∴点$A,$$B$在$y$轴的异侧,且$AB// x$轴
∴$a + 1=4 - a,$解得$a=\frac 32$
∴$A(-\frac 52,$$4)$
$(2)$∵点$A$到$x$轴、$y$轴的距离相等,∴$|a - 4| = 4$
当$a - 4 = 4$时,$a = 8,$此时$A(4,$$4);$
当$a - 4 = - 4$时,$a = 0,$此时$A(-4,$$4)。$
$①$当$a = 0$时,$A(-4,$$4),$过点$A$作$AE\perp y$轴于点$E,$$AF\perp x$轴于点$F$
则$AE = OF = 4,$$AF = OE = 4,$$∠AED=∠AF C = 90°,$∴$∠EAF = 90°$
由$C(-3,$$0),$可得$F C = OF - OC = 4 - 3 = 1$
∵$AD\perp AC,$∴$∠DAC = 90°=∠EAF$
则$∠DAC-∠CAE=∠EAF-∠CAE,$即$∠DAE=∠CAF$
又∵$AE = AF = 4,$∴$\triangle AED≌\triangle AF C(AS A)$
∴$ED = F C = 1,$$OD = OE + ED = 5,$∴$D(0,$$5)$
$②$当$a = 8$时,$A(4,$$4)$
过点$A$作$AE\perp y$轴于点$E,$$AF\perp x$轴于点$F$
由$C(-3,$$0),$可得$F C = OF + OC = 4 + 3 = 7$
同理,可得$\triangle AED≌\triangle AF C$
∴$DE = CF = 7,$$OD = OE + DE = 11,$∴$D(0,$$11)$
综上所述,点$D$的坐标为$(0,$$5)$或$(0,$$11)$