解:$(1)$如图所示,点$P $即为所求
$(2)$由$(1),$知$OP $是$∠AOB$的平分线,∴$∠POH = ∠POQ$
∵$PH\perp OA,$$PQ\perp OB,$∴$∠PHO = ∠PQO = 90°$
在$\triangle OPH$和$\triangle OPQ $中
$\begin {cases}∠PHO=∠PQO \\∠POH=∠POQ \\OP = OP\end {cases}$
∴$\triangle OPH≌\triangle OPQ(\mathrm {AAS})$
∴$PH = PQ,$$S_{\triangle OPH}=S_{\triangle OPQ}=\frac 12S_{四边形OQPH}=10\ \mathrm {cm}^2$
∴$S_{\triangle OPH}=\frac 12OH·PH=\frac 12×5\ \mathrm {P}H = 10\ \mathrm {cm}^2$
∴$PH = 4\ \mathrm {cm},$∴$PQ = 4\ \mathrm {cm}$