解:$ (1)$由题意,得$|x| = 4,$$|y| = 2$
∴$x=\pm 4,$$y = \pm 2$
∴点$P $的坐标是$(4,$$2)$或$(4,$$- 2)$或$(-4,$$- 2)$或$(-4,$$2)$
$ (2)$由题意,得$|y| = 3|x|,$∴$y = 3x$或$y = - 3x$
分类讨论如下:
$ $当$y = 3x$时,∵$y - x = 8,$∴$2x = 8,$解得$x = 4,$则$y = 12$
∴点$P $的坐标为$(4,$$12)$
$ $当$y = - 3x$时,∵$y - x = 8,$∴$-4x = 8,$解得$x = - 2,$则$y = 6$
∴点$P $的坐标为$(-2,$$6)$
综上,点$P $的坐标为$(4,$$12)$或$(-2,$$6)$
$ (3)$由题意,得$|x| = |y|,$∴$x = y$或$x = - y$
分类讨论如下:
$ $当$x = y$时,∵$xy = - 9,$∴$y^2 = - 9,$此时该方程无实数解,舍去;
$ $当$x = - y$时,∵$xy = - 9,$∴$-y^2 = - 9,$解得$y = \pm 3$
$ $当$y = 3$时,$x = - 3;$当$y = - 3$时,$x = 3$
∴点$P $的坐标是$(3,$$- 3)$或$(-3,$$3)$