$ (1)$证明:∵$AC\perp BC,$$AD\perp BD,$∴$∠ACB = ∠ADB = 90°$
$ $又$E$为$AB$的中点,∴$CE = \frac 12\ \mathrm {A}B,$$DE = \frac 12\ \mathrm {A}B$
∴$CE = DE,$即$\triangle ECD$是等腰三角形
$ (2)$解:∵$AD = BD,$$E$为$AB$的中点,∴$DE\perp AB$
$ $在$Rt\triangle DEF $中,$DE = 4,$$EF = 3,$由勾股定理,
得$DF^2=DE^2+EF^2=5^2,$即$DF = 5($负值已舍去$)$
$ $过点$E$作$EH\perp CD$于点$H$
$ $由$(1),$得$CE = DE,$∴$CD = 2DH$
∵$S_{\triangle DEF}=\frac 12EF·DE=\frac 12DF·EH$
∴$EH = \frac {EF·DE}{DF}=\frac {12}5$
$ $在$Rt\triangle DEH$中,由勾股定理,得$DH^2=DE^2-EH^2=\frac {256}{25},$
即$DH = \frac {16}5($负值已舍去$)$
∴$CD = \frac {32}5$