解:设$AE = x\mathrm {cm}。$∵$AB = 10\ \mathrm {cm},$∴$BE=(10 - x)\mathrm {cm}$
又$D$是$BC$的中点,∴$BD = CD$
$ (1)$∵$\triangle BDE$的周长与四边形$ACDE$的周长相等,
且$C_{\triangle BDE}=BE + BD + DE,$$C_{四边形ACDE}=AE + AC + CD + DE$
∴$BE + BD + DE = AE + AC + CD + DE,$即$BE = AE + AC$
又$AC = 6\ \mathrm {cm},$∴$10 - x = x + 6,$解得$x = 2$
则$AE$的长为$2\ \mathrm {cm}。$
$ (2)$∵$\triangle ABC$的周长被$DE$分成的两部分之差是$2\ \mathrm {cm}$
∴有$BE + BD - 2 = AE + AC + CD$或$BE + BD + 2 = AE + AC + CD,$
即$BE - 2 = AE + AC$或$BE + 2 = AE + AC$
∴$10 - x - 2 = x + 6$或$10 - x + 2 = x + 6,$解得$x = 1$或$x = 3$
则$AE$的长为$1\ \mathrm {cm} $或$3\ \mathrm {cm}。$