解:$(1)$由题意,得$a + b - 7 = 0,$$ab - 12 = 0$
∴$a + b = 7,$$ab = 12$
又$a^2+b^2=(a + b)^2-2ab,$∴$a^2+b^2=7^2-2×12 = 49 - 24 = 25$
又$25$的平方根是$\pm 5,$∴$a^2+b^2$的平方根是$\pm 5$
$ (2)$由题意,得$m + 2\neq 0,$$\vert m\vert - 1 = 1,$即$m\neq - 2,$$\vert m\vert = 2,$∴$m = 2$
则原方程化为$4x - 2n = 6$
又$x = a$是这个方程的解,∴$4a - 2n = 6,$即$2a - n = 3$
又$k = 4^{2a - n},$∴$k = 4^3=64$
又$64$的平方根是$\pm 8,$∴$k$的平方根是$\pm 8$