解$:(1)$根据题意得$\begin {cases}3a+b+3=11\\-3a+3b+3=-9\end {cases},$
$ $解得$\begin {cases}a=3\\b =-1\end {cases}$
$ (2) $由$ (1)$得$M(x,y)=3xy-y+3,$
∴$M(m,6n)=3· m·6n-6n+3=6n(3m-1)+3,$
∵无论$n$取何值时,$M(m,6n)$的值均不变,
∴$3m-1=0,$
解得$m=\dfrac {1}{3}$
$ (3) $根据题意得$M(x,2)=3· x·2-2+3=6x+1,$
∵$M(x,2)≥5-2a,$
∴$6x+1≥5-2a,$
解得$x≥\dfrac {2}{3}-\dfrac {1}{3}a,$
∵$x=3$是$M(x,2)≥5-2a$的一个解,
∴$\dfrac {2}{3}-\dfrac {1}{3}a≤3,$
解得$a≥-7$