解:$(2)①$是,理由:
$∵∠ DAB=90°$,$AC$平分$∠ DAB$,
又$∵∠ DCB=135°=∠ DCA+∠ ACB$,
$∴∠ D=∠ ACB$,
$∴△ DAC∽ △ CAB$,
$∴AC$是四边形$ABCD$的“相似对角线”;
②$∵△ DAC∽ △ CAB$,
$∴\frac {AD}{AC}=\frac {AC}{AB}$,
$∴AD· AB=AC^2$,
$∵AC=\sqrt {10}$,
$∴AD· AB=10$;
(3)①由①可知$△ ADC$为等腰直角三角形,$AC=\sqrt {10}$,
$∴AD=CD=\sqrt {5}$,且相似比为$\sqrt {5}:\sqrt {2}$,
$∴△ AEF∽ △ ADC$,且相似比为$\sqrt {5}:\sqrt {2}$,
$∴AE=EF=\sqrt {2}$,$AF=2$,
如图,延长$CE$交$AF$于点$H$,
由题意可得:$EH⊥ AF$
$∴AH=\frac {1}{2}AF=1$,
$∴CH=\sqrt {AC^2-AH^2}=\sqrt {9}=3$,
$∴CE=CH-EH=3-1=2$,
$∵∠ CAD=∠ EAF=45°$,
$∴∠ CAE=∠ BAF$,$\frac {AC}{AB}=\frac {1}{\sqrt {2}}$,
$∵\frac {AE}{AF}=\frac {1}{\sqrt {2}}$,
$∴△ EAC∽ △ FAB$,
$∴\frac {EA}{FA}=\frac {EF}{FB}$即$\frac {\sqrt {2}}{2}=\frac {2}{FB}$,
$∴FB=2\sqrt {2}$;
②如图,设$AF$与$EC$交于点$G$,
$∵AF⊥ CE$,
$∴△ AGE$为等腰直角三角形,
$∵EA=\sqrt {2}$,
$∴AG=EG=1$,
在$Rt△ AGC$中,$CG=\sqrt {AC^2-AG^2}=3$,
$∴EC=4$,
同理可证$△ EAC∽ △ FAB$,
$∴\frac {EA}{FA}=\frac {EC}{FB}$即$\frac {\sqrt {2}}{2}=\frac {4}{FB}$,
$∴FB=4\sqrt {2}$,
综上,$FB=2\sqrt {2}$或$FB=4\sqrt {2}$。