解:$(1)\frac {a-1}{a+1}=\frac {(a-1)(b+1)}{(a+1)(b+1)}$,$\frac {b-1}{b+1}=\frac {(a+1)(b-1)}{(a+1)(b+1)}$
$ (2)$由$ (1)$得$\frac {a-1}{a+1}=\frac {(a-1)(b+1)}{(a+1)(b+1)}=\frac {ab+a-b-1}{ab+a+b+1}$,
$ $因为$ab=3$,$a+b=4$,
所以$(a-b)^2=(a+b)^2-4ab=4^2-4×3=4$,
即$a-b=\pm 2$,
$ $当$a-b=2$时,$\frac {a-1}{a+1}=\frac {3+2-1}{3+4+1}=\frac {4}{8}=\frac {1}{2}$;
$ $当$a-b=-2$时,$\frac {a-1}{a+1}=\frac {3-2-1}{3+4+1}=\frac {0}{8}=0$,
$ $故$\frac {a-1}{a+1}$的值为$\frac {1}{2}$或$0$。