实战演练
(2025·江苏徐州五中集团联盟调研)根据下表提示，以“My dream community”为题用英语写一篇短文。
【要求】1. 文中不得使用真实姓名和校名。
2. 段落清楚，中心突出，意思连贯，书写规范。
3. 内容必须包括以上信息，可作适当发挥。
4. 词数不少于100，开头已给出，不计入总词数。
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community.
(2025·江苏徐州五中集团联盟调研)根据下表提示，以“My dream community”为题用英语写一篇短文。
【要求】1. 文中不得使用真实姓名和校名。
2. 段落清楚，中心突出，意思连贯，书写规范。
3. 内容必须包括以上信息，可作适当发挥。
4. 词数不少于100，开头已给出，不计入总词数。
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community.
My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
答案：My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
解析：
【分析】
首先拿到这道写作题，第一步先审题明确要求：主题是我的理想社区，必须覆盖表格所有提示信息，词数不少于100，不能出现真实个人信息。接下来梳理写作逻辑：首先顺着表格的顺序，先介绍社区最基础的概况——面积大、居民少，紧接着顺承介绍社区的硬件设施和自然环境，这两部分都属于社区的客观条件，放在同一个段落里非常连贯；接下来第二段专门写社区的人文部分，也就是邻居的特点，把邻居友善、有技能的志愿者帮大家解决各类问题的细节逐一展开，让内容更饱满；最后第三段落脚到自己的规划，写出自己打算为社区做的两件具体的事，最后收尾点题说明这是非常适合居住的好地方。写作过程中注意描述理想社区的常规状态用一般现在时，描述自己未来的计划用be going to或者will的将来时结构，适当补充少量衔接句让行文不生硬，保证所有提示要点都不遗漏。
【解析】
这是一篇提纲类英语写作，按照以下步骤完成：
1. 谋篇布局，拆分结构：
第一段：承接给定开头，介绍社区的基本概况、配套设施与自然环境，完成概述、设施、环境三个板块的内容输出。
第二段：专门介绍社区的邻里氛围，把邻居友善、志愿者的相关服务细节完整呈现，完成邻居板块的内容输出。
第三段：介绍自己想要为社区做的两件具体小事，最后收尾点题，完成剩余板块的内容。
2. 整合要点，准确表达：
将表格给出的所有中文提示转化为符合英语表达习惯的语句，避免逐字硬译，适当补充细节比如“大家可以在这些设施里愉快玩耍”让内容更流畅。
3. 检查修正：通读全文，确认所有要点都已覆盖，语法没有错误，词数满足不少于100的要求，没有出现真实姓名校名。
最终完整范文如下：
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
【答案】
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
【知识点】
提纲类作文写作
一般现在时态运用
社区主题词汇表达
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题干给出的所有提示要点，段落划分清晰合理，从客观硬件环境到邻里人文氛围，再到个人的社区贡献，逻辑层层递进，行文流畅自然，用到了with different skills、give a helping hand等地道表达，没有生硬翻译的痕迹，词数符合要求，也给学生留出了自主发挥的空间，比如计划做的事可以替换为浇花、帮老人读报等其他合理内容，完全符合初中英语写作的高分评分标准。
【难度系数】
0.7
首先拿到这道写作题，第一步先审题明确要求：主题是我的理想社区，必须覆盖表格所有提示信息，词数不少于100，不能出现真实个人信息。接下来梳理写作逻辑：首先顺着表格的顺序，先介绍社区最基础的概况——面积大、居民少，紧接着顺承介绍社区的硬件设施和自然环境，这两部分都属于社区的客观条件，放在同一个段落里非常连贯；接下来第二段专门写社区的人文部分，也就是邻居的特点，把邻居友善、有技能的志愿者帮大家解决各类问题的细节逐一展开，让内容更饱满；最后第三段落脚到自己的规划，写出自己打算为社区做的两件具体的事，最后收尾点题说明这是非常适合居住的好地方。写作过程中注意描述理想社区的常规状态用一般现在时，描述自己未来的计划用be going to或者will的将来时结构，适当补充少量衔接句让行文不生硬，保证所有提示要点都不遗漏。
【解析】
这是一篇提纲类英语写作，按照以下步骤完成：
1. 谋篇布局，拆分结构：
第一段：承接给定开头，介绍社区的基本概况、配套设施与自然环境，完成概述、设施、环境三个板块的内容输出。
第二段：专门介绍社区的邻里氛围，把邻居友善、志愿者的相关服务细节完整呈现，完成邻居板块的内容输出。
第三段：介绍自己想要为社区做的两件具体小事，最后收尾点题，完成剩余板块的内容。
2. 整合要点，准确表达：
将表格给出的所有中文提示转化为符合英语表达习惯的语句，避免逐字硬译，适当补充细节比如“大家可以在这些设施里愉快玩耍”让内容更流畅。
3. 检查修正：通读全文，确认所有要点都已覆盖，语法没有错误，词数满足不少于100的要求，没有出现真实姓名校名。
最终完整范文如下：
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
【答案】
My dream community
Hello, I'm happy to tell you something about my dream community. My dream community is very big. But there aren't many people living there. There are lots of trees and beautiful flowers in the neighbourhood, so the air there is fresh. We have a big garden, a swimming pool and some playgrounds. We can have a good time playing there.
All my neighbours are nice and helpful. Some of them are volunteers with different skills. If we have any problems, they can help us. They also help old people do some shopping and clean their houses. If children have problems with their lessons, they will give them a helping hand.
I will do some things for my neighbourhood. I am going to pick up the rubbish in the community centre. If my neighbour is not good at English, I will help her/him with her/his English after school. My community will be a good place to live in.
【知识点】
提纲类作文写作
一般现在时态运用
社区主题词汇表达
【点评】
本篇范文完全覆盖了题干给出的所有提示要点，段落划分清晰合理，从客观硬件环境到邻里人文氛围，再到个人的社区贡献，逻辑层层递进，行文流畅自然，用到了with different skills、give a helping hand等地道表达，没有生硬翻译的痕迹，词数符合要求，也给学生留出了自主发挥的空间，比如计划做的事可以替换为浇花、帮老人读报等其他合理内容，完全符合初中英语写作的高分评分标准。
【难度系数】
0.7