$(1)$证明:∵$PM\perp OA,$∴$∠OMP = 90°$
在$Rt\triangle OMP $中,$D$是$OP $的中点
∴$DM = DO=\frac 12OP$
∴$∠DMO = ∠DOM$
又∵$∠MDP = ∠DMO+∠DOM$
∴$∠MDP = 2∠MOP$
同理,在$Rt\triangle ONP $中,可得$∠NDP = 2∠NOP$
∴$∠MDN = ∠MDP+∠NDP $
$= 2∠MOP + 2∠NOP=2∠MON$
$(2)$解:$∠DME = 180°-2∠A,$理由如下:
∵$CD,$$BE$分别是边$AB,$$AC$上的高,
$M$是$BC$的中点
∴$DM = BM = CM=\frac 12BC,$
$ME = BM = CM=\frac 12BC$
即$DM = ME = BM = CM$
∴$∠MDB = ∠ABC,$$∠MEC = ∠ACB$
又∵$∠BMD + ∠MDB + ∠ABC = 180°,$
$∠CME+∠MEC+∠ACB = 180°$
∴$∠BMD + ∠CME$
$=(180°-2∠ABC)+(180°-2∠ACB)$
$=360°-2(∠ABC + ∠ACB)$
∵$∠ABC+∠ACB = 180°-∠A$
∴$∠BMD + ∠CME = 2∠A$
又∵$∠BMD + ∠CME+∠DME = 180°$
∴$∠DME = 180°-2∠A$
$(3)∠DME = 2∠BAC - 180°$