解:$(1)$联立$\begin {cases}3x - y = 10\\x + 3y = 0\end {cases}$
$ $由$3x - y = 10$得$y=3x - 10,$代入$x + 3y = 0,$
$ x + 3(3x - 10)=0,$解得$x=3,$
$ $将$x=3$代入$y=3x - 10$得$y=-1,$
$ $所以它们的相同解为$\begin {cases}x=3\\y =-1\end {cases}$
$ (2)$将$\begin {cases}x=3\\y =-1\end {cases}$代入$\begin {cases}2ax - by = 4\\ax + 2by = 7\end {cases},$得$\begin {cases}6a + b = 4\\3a - 2b = 7\end {cases}$
$ $由$6a + b = 4$得$b=4 - 6a,$代入$3a - 2b = 7,$
$ 3a - 2(4 - 6a)=7,$解得$a=1,$
$ $将$a=1$代入$b=4 - 6a$得$b=-2,$
$ $所以$\begin {cases}a=1\\b =-2\end {cases}$