解:$ (1) \begin {cases}3x+y=5m&①\\x +3y=3m-3&②\end {cases}$
①+②得:$4(x+y)=8m-3$
$ $将$x+y=1$代入得:$4=8m-3$
$ $解得$m=\frac {7}{8}$
$ (2) ①-②$得:$2(x-y)=2m+3,$即$x-y=\frac {2m+3}{2}$
$ $因为$1≤ x-y≤7,$所以$1≤\frac {2m+3}{2}≤7$
$ $解得$-\frac {1}{2}≤ m≤\frac {11}{2}$
$ (3) $当$-\frac {1}{2}≤ m≤\frac {3}{2}$时,
$ |m+1|+|2m-3|=(m+1)-(2m-3)=4-m$
$ $当$\frac {3}{2}<m≤\frac {11}{2}$时,
$ |m+1|+|2m-3|=(m+1)+(2m-3)=3m-2$