解:$(1)$
$∵∠ B = ∠ C = 90°, ∠ APD = 90°$
$∴∠ BAP + ∠ APB = 90°, ∠ DPC + ∠ APB = 90°$
$∴∠ BAP = ∠ DPC$
在$△ ABP$和$△ PCD$中
$\begin {cases}∠ B = ∠ C \\∠ BAP = ∠ DPC \\PA = PD\end {cases}$
$∴△ ABP ≌ △ PCD (\mathrm{AAS})$
$∴AB = PC, BP = CD$
$∵BC = BP + PC$
$∴BC = CD + AB$
$(2)$
分别过点$A$、$D$作$AE ⊥ BC$于点$E$,$DF ⊥ BC$于点$F$
在$△ ABE$中,$∠ B = 45° ⇒ AE = BE, AB = \sqrt {2}AE$
在$△ DCF$中,$∠ C = 45° ⇒ DF = CF, CD = \sqrt {2}DF$
$∵∠ APD = 90°, ∠ AEP = ∠ PFD = 90°$
$∴∠ EAP + ∠ APE = 90°, ∠ FPD + ∠ APE = 90°$
$∴∠ EAP = ∠ FPD$
在$△ AEP$和$△ PFD$中
$\begin {cases}∠ AEP = ∠ PFD \\∠ EAP = ∠ FPD \\PA = PD\end {cases}$
$∴△ AEP ≌ △ PFD (\mathrm{AAS})$
$∴AE = PF, DF = PE$
$∵AB + CD = \sqrt {2}AE + \sqrt {2}DF = \sqrt {2}(AE + DF)$
$∵AE = PF, DF = PE$
$∴AB + CD = \sqrt {2}(PF + PE) = \sqrt {2}EF$
$∵BC = BE + EF + CF = AE + EF + DF$
$∴\frac {AB + CD}{BC} = \frac {\sqrt {2}EF}{2EF} = \frac {\sqrt {2}}{2}$